Up In the Air (2009)

Basic plot: A guy fires people for a living.

When I first heard the concept of Up in the Air, I was a little bit hesitant – bordering on disinterested. I love a good drama, but the thought of watching a movie about a guy that cuts people loose sounded a little too dark for my tastes – particularly given the current economy. Regardless, I knew I’d have to see it.

Director Jason Reitman has a great track record. First he gave us the dark comedy Thank You For Smoking and later had an even bigger taste of indie fame with the teen pregnancy flick Juno, which brought him his first Oscar nomination. Likewise, George Clooney has been in some pretty awesome movies, both serious and funny. It was easy to imagine their two styles meshing quite well, but it turns out that was an understatement.

George Clooney delivers the dry humor flawlessly and the slightly more colorful characters that surround him provide an excellent contrast. Jason Bateman works great as Clooney’s boss and Anna Kendrick proved that being in Twilight doesn’t automatically make you a shitty actress as she stepped up to try her hardest to steal the spotlight. Vera Farmiga hit her second home run for me this year as Clooney’s leading lady. After The Departed, Orphan, and this she’s definitely becoming an actress to follow.

Despite all the great performances, the star of the movie is the script. The balance between comedy and drama found in Up In the Air is just about perfect. To my own surprise, they found some very humorous moments to wrap around various firings of random employees throughout the movie though it takes a somber turn nearly as often. The real beauty of the film is watching Clooney’s character grow throughout without ever getting too predictable.

From the beginning, he seems to be the only character with a grasp on how monumental of an effect his job has on other people. He’s perfected the art of firing people with a hint of heart albeit completely constructed out of lies and both the scripts fantastic dialogue and Clooney’s performance sell every aspect of this lifestyle I could only imagine without a second thought. Watching this contradictory, relationship hating, life-loving old man learn about what makes life truly worth loving is fantastic.

The style of the editing is slick and the cinematography is modern and to-the-point. Nothing ever gets too fancy or artsy as you’re constantly presented with all the information you need in a format just clean enough to keep you interested visually. The lead character’s life on the go has a fascinating monotony to it as it displays a man who holds himself about the rest of society for not being “tied down” to anything, when the reality is that his life is just as practiced and scheduled as those he considers himself better than.

Up In the Air is one of the best movies of 2009, and seeing how most of my favorite movies are getting completely shafted for Oscar buzz (Away We Go, 500 Days of Summer), I’m probably going to be rooting for Up in the Air once the Academy Awards role around as if it was the Baltimore Ravens at the Super Bowl. I loved it and I’ll definitely be picking up the DVD.

On the twelfth day of Christmas I fell asleep during…


Elf (2003)

Basic plot: Will Ferrell is an elf.

I didn’t start watching this until way late on Christmas day and ended up falling asleep. I hate leaving things unfinished, so I’m just going to post last year’s review and call it a wrap.

Christmasyness: 10

Buddy the elf probably loves Christmas more than all the Who’s in Whoville and Muppets combined. He knows all the rules of Christmas, what the North Pole is really like, and generally acts like a child in his regards to the holiday the entire time. He even wears his elf uniform for at least half the movie.

Comedy: 10

I’m a huge fan of Will Ferrell. I think Anchorman is one of the funniest movies of all time and the childishness of Step Brothers made me laugh til my sides hurt. Elf is considerably cleaner than the majority of his work, but it still has that goofy-beyond-believability, make-it-up-as-you-go feel to it that I love. I’ve only been watching it a time or two per year since it came out five years ago, but it still hasn’t worn out on me. I laugh out loud every single time. Will Ferrell’s performance makes this movie what it is. I don’t think anyone else could have pulled this off.

Cheese: 8

Most of the movie is cheese-free until the last fifteen minutes come along and beat you over the head with Christmas good-tidings. It’s almost too corny for my tastes and I feel like it’s really out of place in such a goofball comedy, but the rest of the movie is so hilarious that I’ll forgive it.

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Overall: I love it.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my family watched with me…


Home Alone 2

Basic plot: The same as the first, only in New York.

Is it too late to wrap up this series? Maybe, but I don’t care. Christmas weekend (Thursday through Sunday) was busy as hell, so this is what you’re getting. Home Alone 2 is the exact same movie as Home Alone one only with different traps. Here’s my top four of scenes (four because I can’t find enough stuff on YouTube):

4. “You been smoochin’ with everybody!”

This is the only version I could find on YouTube, so it’ll have to do. It’s the exact same scene as the first movie, but add in a little Tim Curry to make it even more awesome.

3. “Get outta here you nosey little pervert of I’m gonna slap you silly!”

Why? Just because it’s fun to say.

2. “Harry, I’VE REACHED THE TOP!”

1. The Bricks

Here’s another “every time I watch it, I laugh out loud scene”. The whole scenario is unnecessary considering the bad guys want Kevin to throw down his camera so they can have the evidence even though the camera is a Polaroid and the fact that Marv never moves and should’ve died about 3 times cracks me up.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

Home Alone (1990)

Basic plot: A kid is accidentally left at home when his family goes on holiday vacation.

Here’s last year’s full review: http://www.bullshish.com/blog/?p=436

It’s Christmas morning, and I’m just sitting around waiting for everyone else to wake up, so this is going to be brief. Home Alone is my top three Christmas movies ever. John Hughes is awesome. 20th Century Fox is a YouTube nazi. Here are my top five quotes, without video clips thanks to the yuletide murderer known as Fox.

5. “You’re such a disease!”

This one has mostly to do with tone. Siblings can be so mean.

4. “Look what ya did, ya little jerk!”

This one is sweetened by the fact that it’s coming from Kevin’s uncle of all people. Plus, the film gives you two different versions of it to throw into conversation as you see fit.

3. “I am upstairs, dummy.”

Every time I watch Home Alone this line makes me laugh out loud. If you don’t know which line I’m talking about, Kevin just ruined dinner so his mom takes him to the second floor and tells him to go upstairs (referring to the attic). This is Kevin’s response.

2. “Keep the change, you filthy animal.”

1. “I’m gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full o’ lead. One, two, TEN!”

Are #2 and #1 cheating? Yes. But they can be used very different in the art of quoting films so I’m counting it.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

A Christmas Story

Basic plot: Ralphie wants a BB Gun for Christmas.

Rewatching this back-to-back nights with Christmas Vacation, I may have to rethink my number one spot. Christmas Vacation has the advantage of longevity since I didn’t really start watching A Christmas Story til I was 15 or so, but A Christmas Story is absolutely flawless. I still think CV might have the bigger, more constant laughs, but CS has the advantage of perfectly capturing childhood. Ralphie’s daydreams are brilliant, and the nostalgic voice-over couldn’t be better written.

I don’t know that I’m remotely prepared to fully hand over the Christmas crown (as my cousin Kaye has), but I have no problem putting the two classics on the same level. Here are my top five moments:

5. The Bunny Suit

The Bunny Suit is a beautiful representation of every crappy Christmas present any kid ever got, and his mother’s ignorance cracks me up.

4. “You used up all the glue ON PURPOSE!”

The story of the Leg Lamp in itself is one of the best side stories of the movie, and this scene was the ultimate ending.

3. Santa Claus

Santa Claus is just as easy to make horrifying as he is to make jolly and the ending where Santa tells Ralphie he’ll shoot his eye out and kicks Ralphie in the face is the icing on the cake.

2. Tounge + Frost = AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

This scene is the perfect sample of what this movie is all about. There’s snow for Christmas, a bunch of kids being kids, and the fantastic voice-over explaining childhood politics.

1. Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra

Slightly racist? Maybe, but the L-less Chinese accent is still one of my all time accents. Every single time I watch this scene I laugh out loud, just because the happy trio of singers couldn’t have picked a worse Christmas jingle to try to sing.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

Christian Vacation (1989)

Basic plot: The Griswolds celebrate Christmas.

Christmas Vacation is my #1 favorite Christmas movie of all time. You might be asking why I didn’t save the best for last if that’s the case, but to my surprise Laura had never seen it before and I’m leaving town on Christmas Eve, so we were only going to get a few chances.

The Griswolds might very well be the most dysfunctional family ever put to screen. Clark is the dad that needs everything to be epic, Ellen is the mother that puts up with her husband’s insanity out of love, and the two kids – one boy and one girl – round out the All-American family. Where the other Vacation films seem pretty fit to just leave everything to the family and their surroundings, Christmas Vacation stands out for bringing in extended family from the second cousins to the great grandparents.

I’ve seen this movie at least once every single Christmas for nearly my entire life, and every year it makes me laugh out loud. The movie is too funny for me to organize a list of favorite scenes, so here are a few clips I could find most easily on YouTube. If you haven’t seen the movie, see it as soon as possible. If you have seen the movie, here’s some nostalgia for you:

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (1970)

Basic plot: The origin story of Santa Claus.

When we finally got back from a day-long trip to Raleigh after waking up at 6AM, we didn’t quite have it in us to watch a feature film, so we defaulted to yet another television special from The Original Christmas Classics box set (highly recommended). This time around it was actually one I had never seen before.

Overall, I would honestly have to say this is the best Christmas TV special of the bunch when it comes to both creativity and keeping my interest. While I personally refuse to believe Santa Claus was a red-head, the overall story and the way that all the individual Santa Claus myths are covered is really amusing. Why does he have a beard? Why does he go down the chimney? Where does the name Kris Kringle come from? All of these and more are answered with mediocre stop-motion animation in a way that keeps things just interesting enough.

There are a few scenes where Santa comes off a LITTLE creepy (one of the songs is about how the only cost for a toy is a kiss?), but maybe that was way more acceptable back in 1970. Either way, this is still a great Christmas special to watch this time of year.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

The Little Drummer Boy (1968)

Basic plot: A TV special based on the song.

We didn’t have much time the sixth night because we needed to get a friend to the airport the next morning, which required getting up at 6AM. As such, we just opted to watch the 20-min TV special based on the classic Christmas carol. The Little Drummer Boy is like a weird cross between Aladdin and Pinnochio, in really lazy stop-motion animation. The songs are fairly catchy, but the special as a whole is mostly forgettable. I doubt I’ll watch it again.

Since none of the clips from the special are particularly worth watching, here’s Josh Groban singing his rendition, aka the official best version of this song ever, on Oprah.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…

Gremlins (1984)

Basic plot: A young man is given a new pet as a Christmas present from his father with three very important rules: No bright lights, no water, and no food after midnight. Things go wrong after the rules are broken.

Well, it’s Saturday and I am feeling spectacularly lazy thanks to the busy weekend ahead of me. If you want something to read, you can check out last year’s full review here. Otherwise, here are a few videos you can check out to relive some of the best moments (embedding is disabled on almost all of these, so follow the links):

The Kitchen Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIrd4172Czw

Granny Gets It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPnxabLQvhU

The Bar Scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBKeapt0rKY

The Theater: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGHvTfMKBDQ

Gizmo Is Awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8it1574CTxI

Keep in mind, Gremlins was rated PG at the time and stands as one of the main causes for the invention of the PG-13 rating. That’s a legacy.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love watched with me…


Jingle All the Way (1996)

Basic plot: A father searches desperately for the big holiday toy on Christmas Eve.

I have a select list of movies I have to watch every Christmas, and since I ended up starting this year’s Christmas blog festivities a little late into the season, all I really have time for are my select favorites. As with the previous two, you’re welcome to check out the original 2008 review here, but this year I’m going to be doing another countdown.

Yes, I realize Jingle All the Way is not technically a good movie. All of the performances are cartoony and over-blown, but it all makes the story that much more fun. Jingle All the Way fits into a special place in my heart where movies like Snakes on a Plane, Shoot Em Up, and Ernest Goes to Camp can find a loving home. Without further ado,

Five Reasons I LOVE Jingle All the Way:

5. The Mailman (Sinbad)

As I mentioned, everything about this film is over the top. Way over the top. Sinbad is a stand-up comedian that seems to have completely fallen of the map since the 90’s, but his role as the mailman in Jingle All the Cracks me up every time. I miss the time when children’s movies weren’t safe havens for 100% politically correct attempts at humor. Sinbad’s character was able to be one of the most cynical social servants imaginable, make jokes about his wife cheating on him, and it could all still appear in a PG Christmas movie.

4. Ted (Phil Hartman)

I can’t even find any clips on YouTube that aren’t edited to shit, but I might also be the only person that finds Phil Hartman’s supercheesy neighbor performance to be hysterical. The guy is so goody-goody and creepy about it, I laugh just about every time he’s on screen.

3. Arnold Schwartzenegger

It’s The Terminator. The guy that killed The Predator. Arnold Schwarzenegger has jumped onto an airplane from a skyscraper and killed the pilot. Now? He’s just a dad that wants to gets his kid a Christmas present. It might be one of the worst performances of all time, but for me, it definitely falls under the “so bad it’s good” category.

2. The Topic

Every year, there’s some super hot item that every kid wants for Christmas and only the few hardcore parents can manage to get. You’ve heard the buzz every year; whether it’s Tickle-Me Elmo, Pokemon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition, the Nintendo Wii (2 or 3 years in a row?), or, apparently this year, Zhu Zhu Pets (I only know due to having friends on Facebook with young kids that have complained about trying to find them). Jingle All the Way takes this yearly fad, wraps a movie around it and then adds…

1. Complete Insanity

This movie is ridiculous. There’s a chase scene involving bouncy raffle balls, an all-out brawl with a hoard of fake Santas, a guy threatens to blow up a radio station with a bomb, and the in the finale Ahnold literally becomes a super-hero. It’s absurd and it’s awesome. I love this movie.

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