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Walk the Line (2005)

Basic plot: A biopic about Johnny Cash’s rise to fame.

This has been on my Netflix queue ever since I first got Netflix, but it was one of the titles that kept getting pushed back. Apparently it’s my friend Lauren’s top something-or-other movies, so this was her pick for our latest movie trade-off (She gets to watch Rounders).

Walk the Line is a very good movie. Typically I’m not a fan of country music so I wasn’t particularly excited about this, but as it turns out, most of Cash’s music doesn’t even have an accent behind it, so I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, I may download the soundtrack at some point just to see if it’ll grow on me.

The acting is very good, with Reese Witherspoon, Joaquin Phoenix, and Ginnifer Goodwin all  carrying their roles well. The cinematography looks really nice most of the time, and the dialogue keeps things interesting enough for a musical biopic.

Storywise, Cash had a pretty extraordinary life between the music, the drugs, and his love life. The love triangle sort of bothers me considering Johnny was always married from the time he first met June, but considering this is all based on his real life and the characters actually had a logical attraction to each other, it didn’t get to me quite as bad as the cheating in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

I don’t know how often I’d rewatch it, but it’s definitely a good movie. A little slow at times, but good. It’s very possible that if I ever get around to grabbing the soundtrack this might rise in the ranks for me, but after a single viewing, I’ll just say I liked it and leave it at that.

Moulin Rouge: Top 5 Scenes

The first time I ever watched Moulin Rouge, I admit, I was a bit underwhelmed, but something about it intrigued me. The way Baz Luhrmann wove pop songs around a classic tragedy left me perplexed and slightly confused. I wasn’t quite sure what I had just seen. The style is a bit unusual; the colors are bright and the editing cuts constantly from one extreme close-up to an odd dutch angle back to another close-up. Regardless, I felt like I had to watch it again, just to try to figure out what the hell was going on (particularly for the first hour or so).

During round one, the film had caught me off guard, but during round two the film grew on me, almost instantly. Fast forward three or four years, and it’s now one of my all-time favorite films; one that I’ve seen well over twenty times. I love the bizarre humor, the colorful characters, and, more than anything, the music. This movie made me fall in love with Nicole Kidman and gain an entirely new respect for Ewan McGregor. It’s kind of a downer by the time the curtains close, but the overall message is something I can get behind:

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

5. Your Song

The Set-Up: Having lucked his way into Satine’s private room, Christian is given an opportunity to give her a poetry reading.

Why it’s awesome: His “original poem” just happens to be Elton John’s “Your Song.” This is the song that single-handedly turned Elton John into one of my favorite artists. I had never heard it before this and as soon as I found out who it was by, I picked up his 34 song Greatest Hits album and the rest is history. Truth be told, I actually prefer Ewan’s version of this particular track. He has a surprisingly powerful voice compared to Elton’s softer, more soothing version. The Moulin Rouge take on this tune is epic, from the backing chorus to the dancing in the clouds; the latter of which might stand as one of the film’s most memorable images.

4. Spectacular, Spectacular

The Set-Up: The Duke catches Christian in Satine’s room, but the day is saved by a spontaneous musical pitch of a play the Bohemians want to run.

Why it’s awesome: Taking a break from the barrage of pop songs that have been flooding the speakers up to this point, “Spectacular, Spectacular” takes the tune of Jacques Offenbach’s Can-Can and gives it lyrics. Considering “Can-Can” is originally an all-instrumental piece, replacing all of those notes with lyrics is quite the feat and the final result kind of feels like Moulin Rouge’s take on “La Vie Boheme”. However, instead of merely naming products and actions to an insanely catchy tune, “Spectacular, Spectacular” delivers an full-fledged story.

3. Come What May

The Set-Up: having nearly been caught by the Duke, Satine and Christian write a “lover’s song” to incorporate into the play to remind each other of their love anytime they hear it.

Why it’s awesome: This is  the film’s only completely original song, and honestly, it’s a beautiful ballad. The accompanying montage is a great way to show the escalating issues within the relationship. Another aspect of this scene I personally appreciate is that Lurhman very intentionally never bothered with any kind of sex scenes in order to avoid the idea that the relationship between these characters was purely sexual. In the commentary, he talks about how he wanted the movie to be about love itself moreso than sex, so the couple is never scene during the act; only before or after. I don’t see anything wrong with sex scenes during movies either, but I thought that was a cool take on the subject.

2. Elephant Love Medley

The Set-Up: Christian attempts to convince Satine to give him shot with the help of some of pop music’s most popular love songs.

Why it’s awesome: This medley takes fourteen songs, mixes them flawlessly, and throws in a few adjusted lyrics here and there to make sure everything flows just right. When you take over a dozen of the catchiest melodies in pop history and throw them together, the result is one of the catchiest three minutes you’ve ever heard. The visuals of this scene are just as much fun as Satine and Christian essentially battle-sing against each other the entire time.

1. El Tango de Roxanne

The Set-Up: After weeks of putting it off, it looks like Satine is finally going to have to sleep with The Duke. Christian, who seems to have forgotten he’s dating a prostitute, is extremely bothered by this.

Why it’s awesome: The Unconscious Argentinean takes it upon himself to explain the situation with an incredible tango-fied version of The Police’s song “Roxanne.” The lighting and cinematography of this are gorgeous as they properly convey the dark emotions of the situation: “Jealousy, anger, betrayal.” As the Argentinean’s scratchy voice belts out the popular tune, Christian’s haunting accompaniment drives the majority of this scene. His all-original chorus is chilling and the gradual build of the song gives me goosebumps everytime.

The good news is that the other songs/scenes in the movie that didn’t make the list are almost just as good (or completely equal depending on your preference). If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out, just try to give it a couple viewings before you write it off.

No Country For Old Men: Top 5 Scenes

Obviously, Burn After Reading put me in a bit of a Coen Brothers mood lately. Yesterday I saw Fargo for the first time and decided to give my entire history of watching their films. Tonight, I’m watching No Country For Old Men again, last year’s very deserving Best Picture winner. A lot of people complain about the ending, but the more I watch it, the more I love it. The movie is a two hour montage of beautifully shot, suspenseful, incredibly well acted scenes one after the other.

5.Sheriff Bell explains things to people

The Set-Up: Throughout the movie, Sheriff Bell tells people what the hell is going on, whether it’s his partner, Llewelyn’s wife, or just as a random voice-over.

Why it’s awesome: Similar to the “Joker monologues” from The Dark Knight Top 5, this is sort of cheating the list, but Tommy Lee Jones gives a great performance and consistently gets completely left out of all the suspense and action scenes. His character reminded me a lot of Francis McDormand’s in Fargo. Only Texan.

4. Llewelyn runs from the dealers

The Set-Up: After finding a briefcase with $2 million at the aftermath of a drug-trade shootout, Llewelyn returns to the scene of the crime later that night where he’s discovered by other dealers.

Why it’s awesome: The cinematography makes for one of the most memorable scenes in the movie as Llewelyn runs through the Texan desert as fast as can while the sun slowly pops up over the horizon. Plus, he shoots a dog. NO MERCY.

3. Briefcase in the air vents

The Set-Up: Llewlyn returns to his motel to get the money, but rightfully believes the safety of his room has been compromised as he stakes out in an alternate room on the opposite side of the building.

Why it’s awesome: One thing this movie is great about is mixing action scenes with suspense. In this particular scene, they have both running simultaneously. While you’re busy freaking out about whether Llewlyn will successfully get the briefcase in time, Chigurh is blowing everybody in the old motel room straight to hell with an insanely powerful shotgun.

2. Chigurh finds Llewelyn’s hotel room

The Set-Up: After fleeing the motel, Llewelyn shacks up in a slightly nicer hotel. Chigurh still finds him.

Why it’s awesome: Again, the balance of suspense and action in this scene is superb. First things start out with one of the single most suspenseful moments I’ve ever seen as you wait on the edge of your seat for Llewelyn to be discovered. As soon as he is discovered, everything transitions into a huge chase as we see Chigurh’s complete indifference to killing innocent people and openly firing his shotgun in public.

1. Chigurh stops for gas

The Set-Up: Chigurh gives the gas station attendant a tough time while paying for his gas.

Why it’s awesome: By “tough time” I mean he scares the living piss out of the guy, hardly even moving a muscle to do so. He just talks to him. Chigurh is a terrifying fellow who will undoubtedly go down as one of cinema’s greatest bad guys, and the way he drills this elderly gas station attendant about every last detail of his duties is pure torture for the guy. It’s one of my favorite scenes in ANY movie and easily my top choice for the film.

I love this movie. It’s found it’s way into that special part of my collection where if I happen to see it on the shelf, I instantly have an urge to rewatch it. Of the actual Best Picture nominees that year it was my favorite by a strong margin. Repeated viewings have only made me love it more.

Snakes on a Plane: Top 5 Snake Attacks

Snakes on a Plane is one of my biggest guilty pleasures. It’s a self-admittedly terrible movie, that never tries to be anything more than it’s title implies. It’s easily one of the funniest movies that came out in 2006.

I found a snake in my backyard this morning when I was stretching for my morning run and one of my roommates had found one a couple days ago when he was mowing the lawn. This afternoon we were trying to figure out what types they were (both totally pussy non-venomous kinds), so it put me in the mood to rewatch this C-movie-given-the-A-movie-treatment classic. I love it. It’s not one of those movies that at one point thought it might have some artistic merit that ended up inadvertantly BECOMING absolute shit (see One Missed Call, The Happening, etc.). It’s a movie that knows exactly what it’s purpose is: shock value and maximum ridiculousness. It accomplishes its mission with flying colors.

Here are my Top 5 Snake Attacks from the film.

Note: I need to find a better screen capture program because VLC always pauses several frames AFTER I click the button.

5. Snakes in a Microwave

When a flight attendant finds himself cornered by a coral snake, he literally takes matters into his own hands by picking it up, throwing it in the microwave, and pushing the “Snake” button. Yeah, you read right. There’s an actual button on the microwave that says “Snake”. This movie takes itself about as seriously as the Hot Shots series (remember when spoof movies were funny?).

4. Snakes on a Baby

This one ranks a little lower because it doesn’t actually result in the baby getting bitten after it’s saved at the last second by a flight attendant who takes a bite on the shoulder. Regardless of that fact, it still gets points for convincing you that they are seriously about to show a baby get bitten by a rattlesnake. To make things even better the baby is playing with a rattle. That is genius.

3. Snakes on a Chihuahua

International Movie Law #17: Innocent animals are not allowed to die in movies.

Forget that. This is Snakes on a Plane. After a selfish British businessman throws a chihuahua at a gigantic anaconda for no particular reason, the anaconda instantly catches and kills it in a matter of seconds. In case you’re worried about some sort of animal justice, the bastard totally gets his comeuppance just a few seconds later when the anaconda crushes and begins eating him.

2. Snakes on a Tit

This is the first snake attack in the movie, and boy, is it a great opener to let you know they’re really not planning on holding anything back. First, they slap you in the face with a minute or so of gratuitous sex and boobage followed by a “snake vision” precursor of the coming danger. Before you can say “Oh shit they’re gonna get attacked while they’re getting it on and they’re totally still naked” (which is a fair amount of time), our supermodel mile-high club members are getting bit on the chest, the face, the chest, the neck and the chest. The girl has boobs on her chest for those that couldn’t put that together.

1. Snakes on a Dick

Just in case you thought the boob-biting was a one time extreme, they quickly verify they’re going to make you wince in as many ways as possible. This scene is pretty much every guy’s worst nightmare, and the set up is fantastic. I saw this movie three times in theaters (yeah, I know) and every single time you could practically hear every dude in the audience thinking the same thing: “They wouldn’t do that. No… No, they wouldn’t do that. No… NONONO. *cue involuntary crotch protecting*”.

There are far more people that get attacked than that, but those are the ones I found hysterical. For anyone who’s curious, we decided to name the snakes we found in the yard Samuel and Jackson. With any luck, we won’t see them again.

28 Days Later: Top 5 Scenes

First things first, 28 Days Later is NOT a zombie movie.  28 Days Later has a lot of zombie-esque attitude to it, but technically it’s a horror movie about a rampant virus, though both fall in the post-apocalyptic category.

That said, it’s one of my personal favorite post-apocalyptic movies (all zombie movies included), and here are five scenes to explain why:

5. The stairwell chase

The Set-Up: Jim and Selena seek refuge after they’re forced to leave Jim’s parents’ house due to an attack from the infected. They head up the stairway of a large apartment building when they find themselves outrunning the infected once again.

Why it’s awesome: The scene does a great job of setting up the fact that these characters, Jim in particular, are tired out of their minds. Their bodies have been running on nothing but candy bars and soda, they’ve barely rested, and they’ve been walking constantly. Now they have to outrun infected killers with seemingly endless energy.

4. Frank gets infected

The set-up: Jim, Selena, Frank, and Hannah have driven for hours and hours hoping to find other life somewhere in the country. When they arrive at the destination a radio message told them to go, no one is there and Frank goes off by himself to stew. Blood from a dead body hanging in the rafters then falls into his eye.

Why it’s awesome: “Awesome” might not quite be the right word. It’s actually kind of bothersome, but it’s very well handled. For one, you’ve somewhat attached to this guy through the past half hour and it’s huge bummer to see him go down to something so stupid as a little blood accidentally falling in his eye. It also serves as a great example of how easy it is for this terrible virus to spread, and a heartbreaking end to a great father character.

3. Changing a flat tire

The set-up: After meeting Frank and his daughter, Hannah, Jim and Selena decide to go with them to locate the military unit that had been playing a message of safety on the radio. On the way to their destination, the plow through a giant pile-up in a tunnel and end up getting a flat tire.

Why it’s awesome: When they try to fix the flat tire, it becomes clear that a hoard of the infected are making their way towards the foursome. This makes the rest of the scene one of the most intense moments in the entire genre, and has some of the most memorable imagery to go along with it.

2. Jim goes crazy (the finale)

The set-up: After the general of the military shelter they eventually make their way to informs Jim that he had promised his men women (Selena and early teens Hannah), Jim is taken out to the woods to be killed. When he escapes, he basically sabotages the entire military unit.

Why it’s awesome: One huge help to the imagery of this scene is the rainfall. Everything just looks awesome. Then you have Jim releasing the infected into the compound, killing several soldiers with his own methods, and saving the girls. It’s some pretty epic heroism for a guy who was more or less a total pussy at the beginning of the movie.

1. Jim is alone

The set-up: Jim wakes up in the hospital 28 days after the virus first started spreading. He is completely and utterly alone.

Why it’s awesome: This movie was made for only $8 million dollars (most of this past Summer’s biggest blockbusters cost no less than $150 million, for some perspective). Despite the budgetary limitations, they were able to get some of the most memorable shots of loneliness ever put on film as Jim wanders around an abandoned London. You feel his desperation as he searches for other life. The total loneliness in these scenes is palpable. When I think about the movie, this is always the first scene that comes to mind. It’s beautiful.

I’m re-watching the sequel tomorrow, so I’ll be posting my thoughts on it then.

American Psycho: Top 5 Scenes

American Psycho, much like Sweeney Todd, is a great example of pitch black comedy. A social commentary on the 1980’s, Patrick Bateman’s endless voice-overs about what he thinks he needs, what he wants, and who is better or worse than whom makes up one of my all-time favorite voice-overs. Everything is so superficial and unimportant, but it’s all that any of the characters care about. The writing and cinematography are top notch.

As The Dark Knight continues to rise in popularity, it’s becoming more general knowledge that Christian Bale is awesome. His role as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho is one of his best. The rest of the cast works, but none of the other performances are particular great. This is Bale’s movie.

5. The hookers and Phil Collins

The set-up: Shortly after Bateman killed Paul Allen with Huey Lewis and the News as the soundtrack, he gets a couple of prostitutes over to his apartment, while he talks about how great Phil Collins is. Among other things.

Why it’s awesome: For one, Bateman is a complete asshole to these girls the entire time. As the commentary points out, the whole purpose of all this for the character is to place himself around people he feels superior to. Even better, since we’ve already seen him kill Paul Allen to Huey Lewis music, we’re fully expecting him to mutilate these girls at any time, but it never happens. Instead he just video tapes them all having sex, which I’m not gonna lie, is one of the most graphic sex scenes I’ve seen, but I can’t watch it without laughing. The entire time Patrick’s in bed with these girls, he’s staring at himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles at himself. It’s hilarious.

4. Date with the secretary

The set-up: Patrick Bateman fakes a reservation at the fanciest restaurant in town and has his secretary over to his apartment before their date.

Why it’s awesome: In the commentary, they talk about how the entire purpose of this scene was to give the girl the cheesiest, chick-flick dialogue ever while making Patrick completely indifferent to anything she’s saying. Throughout the movie they’ve built up the idea that she has a huge crush on him, and while he’s not particularly mean to her verbally, it’s obvious that he doesn’t care. When he holds up the nail gun to her head while she innocently sits on the couch, completely unaware, you’re wondering just how far he’ll go. He’s already killed a co-worker, what’s to stop him from killing his secretary? The answer: A call from his fiance on the answering machine that leads the girl to be the bigger person and walk away, which he lets her. It’s a really good suspense build.

3. Chainsaw down the stairwell

The set-up: After failing to kill his secretary, he goes back out and gets one of the hookers from earlier. After things get violent in bed, she’s tries to run away, but is chased down the hall by a naked Patrick Bateman with a chainsaw. She’s tries to run down the stairwell, but Patrick waits at the top and drops the chainsaw on her from above.

Why it’s awesome: It’s one of the most memorable scenes in the movie, if not the most memorable. It’s not very long and there’s no dialogue for the writing to really stick out, but the visuals are unforgettable. A serial killer running down a hallway completely naked except for tennis shoes with a chainsaw is a hilarious image.

2. Huey Lewis, Paul Allen, and a raincoat

The set-up: After eating dinner, Paul Allen and Patrick Bateman go back to Bateman’s place, where Patrick rants about why he loves Huey Lewis and the News just before he murders Paul Allen with an axe.

Why it’s awesome: Patrick Bateman is SO excited the entire time. As he gives his reasons for why “It’s Hip to Be Square” is Huey Lewis and the News’ masterpiece, he practically dances around the apartment to the oddest soundtrack for violence since Reservoir Dogs. The raincoat and the huge amount of preparation he’s obviously put into this make it even funnier. It doesn’t matter that Paul Allen is a colleague, he’s just another kill to Bateman.

1. From the ATM to the Office Building

The set-up: An ATM tells Patrick to feed it a kitten. When he does, a grandma tries to stop him so he shoots her. After setting off about four car alarms in the street, he kills four cops by blowing up their cars while shooting at them. Running into a nearby office building, he shoots the friendly doorguard, then kills the janitor. Then he goes to another building, signs in, and goes upstairs to call his lawyer and confess everything.

Why it’s awesome: Re-read that last paragraph. This scene is the definition of absolute insanity.

Between this and Sweeney Todd, I seem to be in a serial killer movie mood lately. I should probably follow these up with an all-out comedy of some sort. For the sake of my own sanity.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Top 5 Scenes

I might’ve liked this movie more than just about anyone I know. I’m a pretty big fan of Tim Burton, and as I mentioned the last time I watched Sweeney Todd, Johnny Depp has become one of my favorite actors over the past five years or so. The two are a great combination (which is a good thing considering how often they work together).

The theme of the film is negative as all hell and I completely understand why some people don’t like it. Personally, I love the music and the cinematography and art direction is some of my favorite from the past couple years. As dreary as it may be, the movie looks great, and it’s very well acted. I also love the pitch black comedy it has going on.

This isn’t a Top 5 songs list. Top 5 SCENES. Surprising as it may be, this might be the toughest Top 5 for me so far. There are soooo many scenes I love.

5.The Worst Pies in London

The set-up: Sweeney Todd arrives back in London after 15 years in prison. He returns to his flat and meets Mrs. Lovett, who runs a pie shop beneath his old home.

Why it’s awesome: It’s gross. Between the bugs, the dust, watching how they’re made, and even just the look of the pies themselves, it’s not hard to believe these really are the worst pies in London. Mrs. Lovett’s complete admittance of how awful they are just makes it all the more entertaining.

4. A Little Priest

The set-up: At this point, Sweeney Todd has already murdered Pirelli for trying to blackmail him and Mrs. Lovett not-so-subtly hints that they could use the meat to give her pie business a little boost.

Why it’s awesome: The song is so bouncy and happy that if you just heard the melody you’d never guess the subject matter. Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney even dance around the store as they sing and joke about the various flavors different people’s flesh would provide. The lyrics are hilariously evil.

3. By the Sea

The set-up: The pie business has proven successful, allowing Mrs. Lovett to fantasize about her future with Sweeney Todd.

Why it’s awesome: To me, it’s the funniest scene in the movie. Up until this point, 95% of the movie has been in shades of gray and sepia tones. Mrs. Lovett’s fantasy shows us the first signs of any real color; particularly blue, which really pops here. The fantasy itself is completely innocent, which feels like an odd change of pace from the happy songs about death and murder and eating people. Sweeney’s less-than-enthusiastic reactions to her dreams make me smile everytime I watch this. It’s such a huge contrast of attitudes as she’s entirely optimistic against his unrenewable soullessness.

2. Pretty Women/Epiphany

The set-up: Sweeney gets his first shot at killing the man who stole his wife and child from him, but things are sorely interrupted.

Why it’s awesome: To begin, when the Judge first shows up, the suspense is fantastic. You know it’s way too early in the movie for Todd to get his revenge already, but the Judge is RIGHT THERE. The blade is RIGHT THERE. His throat is RIGHT THERE. Then little sailor boy runs into the room like Kramer and ruins everything. This leads Sweeney into the resentful, rage-fueled musical regret that is “The Epiphany” as he runs around town looking for someone to shave. He shows greater remorse and anger over NOT killing someone than most movie characters show after they’re forced to kill someone they may not have wanted to.

1. Johanna

The set-up: Sweeney Todd seems to murder half the population of London in a five minute montage of throat slitting and singing.

Why it’s awesome: Sweeney Todd seems to murder half the population of London in a five minute montage of throat slitting and singing. Seriously, it’s a great, moving song about his daughter contrasted against one of the most violent, bloody montages I’ve ever seen. And he’s entirely nonchalant about the whole thing. Aside from his thoughts about his daughter, Mr. T is a completely soulless monster.

Princess Mononoke: Top 5 Scenes

Unlike Spirited Away‘s whimsical fairy tale storytelling, Princess Mononoke is more of an action movie. The story is still great; the animation is still gorgeous. However, as an action movie, it’s bound to have a number of scenes that stick out above the rest.

Interesting fact that I always forget: San is never actually called Princess Mononoke in the movie, but that seems to be the most popular way to refer to her.

5. Giant wolves attack Lady Eboshi’s caravan

The set-up: Lady Eboshi is trying to get back to transport rice back to Irontown with a fairly big caravan of villagers through the mountains. Then they get attacked by Princess Mononoke and Giant Wolves.

Why it’s awesome: A general rule of thumb seems to be that big animals are way, way cooler than their normal-sized counterparts. Giant wolves are no exception.

4. Ashitaka’s first taste of his new superpowers

The Set-Up: After Ashitaka saves the town from the boar god, he gets banished because of a curse left by the demon. This curse left his arm with a sick looking tattoo/acid burn thing on his right forearm. And temporary spouts of super strength.

Why it’s awesome: The first time we get to see the blessing within the curse, Ashitaka is passing by a village under samurai attack. Two of the samurai take it upon themselves to try to kill him, so he shoots them with his bow and arrow. And by “shoots them” I mean he knocks one of their arms off and completely rids the other one of their head.

Related honorable mention: Towards the end of the movie, Ashitaka is attacked once again by several samurai. He cuts one of their arms off with a sword. The other samurai then shoots an arrow at him, which he catches and shoots back, killing the samurai with his own arrow. After this, two other Samurai ride towards him on horseback. He warns them to stay back, but after they keep coming he shoots an arrow that takes off one of their heads (from probably a football field away). The other one then turns around to retreat. Bad ass.

3. Ashitaka saves his village from the demon-possessed boar

The set-up: Ashitaka is out visiting the town lookout when a gigantic creature emerges from the forest, headed straight for their village.

Why it’s awesome: The gigantic creature is a demon-possessed boar that’s about the size of two elephants standing nose to tail. This thing is covered with a disgusting coating that looks like millions of leeches, and Ashitaka doesn’t even blink before he decides he should try to kill it by himself. And he succeeds.

2. San (Princess Mononoke) raids Irontown

The set-up: Princess Mononoke sneaks into Irontown with a mission to kill Lady Eboshi.

Why it’s awesome: From her giant wolf-propelled vault over the fence to the roof running to her duel with Lady Eboshi, Princess Mononoke shows how deep her animal roots go. Then, as a final kicker, the scene ends with Ashitaka getting shot through the stomach with a rocket (which he walks off) before single-handedly lifting open a door that usually takes ten men to open.

1. The Finale

The set-up: It’s like 20 minutes long, so it’s sort of cheating. The basic jist is that Jigo kills the god of the forest, whose headless body proceeds to destroy all life as it looks for its noggin.

Why it’s awesome: First, the set-up is great. Okkoto, the head boar, is blind, so Jigo’s men disguise themselves with the skins of dead boars. When Okkoto finally dies, his body gets overtaken by the demon leech thing; simultaneously trapping Princess Mononoke. Ashitaka rides one of the giant wolves to her rescue, but can’t stop demon Okkoto from summoning the forrest spirit, completely unaware that he’s surrounded by Jigo’s men. The Lady Eboshi shoots off the Forrest Spirits when it’s mid-super-giraffe/godzilla-evolution and all hell breaks loose. The most important thing here is that it looks amazing. This is the one scene in the movie that I can’t imagine could be successfully pulled off in a live action format.

Princess Mononoke is a great movie and I really do love it. For me, it will always fall just below Spirited Away on my list of favorite Miyazaki movies, but that doesn’t stop it from being 100% awesome in its own right.

Spirited Away

In case you don’t already know, Spirited Away is the movie that beat out Ice Age, Lilo & Stitch, Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, and Treasure Planet for the Best Animated Feature Academy Award in 2002. With such quality competition, I’m sure that’s a shocker. Truth be told, it’s one of the best animated features of all time and it’s a shame it didn’t have to wipe out tougher competition to win an award it undeniably deserved. I’m tempted to say it’s my personal favorite animated film of all time, and I certainly wouldn’t hesitate to say it’s one of the best all-around movies of all time. That may be a lot of “all times” being thrown around, but I assure you I fully believe this movie deserves it. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading this and just go watch it.

I was planning on doing a Top 5 Scenes for this one, but as I rewatched it for what’s somewhere between my 15th and 20th time, I realized that wouldn’t be possible. This movie relies so heavily on the fantastic story and keeps things so interesting and magical the entire time that very few scenes particularly stick out.

That almost sounds like a bad thing, but I promise that it isn’t. Every single scene is great, and the quality of the overall epicness of the tale is on par with some of the best movies and books in history. The beauty of how these scenes intertwine with one another is hard to even explain, and the beauty of the artwork that creates them is simply astounding. Visually, it’s one of the most gorgeous movies I’ve ever watched. Without the budgetary limits of live action, Miyazaki paints every frame with glorious detail. The landscapes and building interiors are larger than life. The characters are every bit as colorful as the world that surrounds them.

Even further, I love Miyazaki’s refusal to follow any sort of formula whatsoever. There’s no paint by numbers plot with a traceable “We need THIS rising action to set up THIS climax in THIS amount of time” styled order of events. It’s a wonderful coming of age story that takes its time in having its lead character come of age. There’s no single moment of grandeur where she suddenly realizes she needs to grow up. It’s a gradual process that you see from beginning to end as her character evolves and learns responsibility – an evolution that takes far more than the two minute montage most coming-of-age movies tend to resort to.

I also love that there isn’t really a villain. Sure, the witch is set-up as that character, but realistically she herself is no more evil than Serverus Snape is in the Harry Potter movies. She has a bad side to her, but she also has some good in her that rears its head throughout the movie for more than a conclusive “look she learned her lesson” finale. It’s not about that. She’s not evil, she’s just flawed.

The movie doesn’t rely on a celebrity voice-cast. Off the top of my head, I can’t name one voice I specifically recognize, but John Lasseter’s work casting the English dub of this is spectacular. Everything sounds amazing and matches up perfectly. Generally, I hate English dubs on anime, but Disney’s work on all of Miyazaki’s films has been great. It’s nice to be able to get to focus on the beautiful animation and instead of reading the whole time.

There are so many things that I love about this movie, but the bottom line is Hayao Miyazaki is a god among men when it comes to telling a great story.

I completed my Monty Python movie collection today when I found the two-disc special edition of Life of Brain on sale for $10 at Best Buy. I’m not going to have internet until Monday, so the blog will be on hold until then after this.

I’d love to do a Top 5 Scenes on all of these movies individually in the future, but the Top 5 Scenes lists take considerably longer to write since I only do them for movies I deem to have MORE than five particularly awesome scenes. It’s tough to decide what makes the cut, what doesn’t, and how to order them.

So instead, for now I’m going to give my personal order of preference regarding the four Monty Python movies, from awesome to more awesome.

4. Monty Python’s And Now For Something Completely Different

This is more of a Greatest Hits collection of skits from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, re-filmed for theatrical release. There isn’t even a consistent theme or driving idea.

For a short time, I considered this my favorite Monty Python movie (odd how far it’s fallen, eh?), but having watched all of them within the past couple months, the skit to skit inconsistency is a major blow. If I tried to organize my favorite Monty Python skits, this still has some of my absolute favorites, but it also has more parts where I just find myself impatiently waiting for the next sketch than any of the other films.

The “How Not to Be Seen” opening, “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink”, the dead parrot, the lumberjack song, self-defense class, and the mountain climbing company will always be some of my favorite bits, and easily make the DVD worth owning for me. They make me laugh out loud every single time I watch them.

Sadly, some of the animated scenes in particular tend to lag a bit and bring down the mood. It’s still a hilarious collection, especially for a first attempt, but it lacks the epicness of their later works.

3. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life

The weird thing about Monty Python movies, and honestly a major problem with this list, is that I find after I rewatch them, I convince myself at least for a little while that that Monty Python movie is my favorite one. Until I watch the next one, and then that becomes my favorite. I love them all so much.

This movie KILLED me the first time I ever saw it a couple months ago. I couldn’t stop laughing, and that’s considering I was watching it alone – which is generally not the best way to watch comedies. It’s crude, irreverent, and completely unapologetic with it’s humor as it shallowly attempts to follow it’s title theme, detailing the parts of life from birth to death. Excluding the far too long 12-minute short film at the beginning that only manages a few chuckles, I love the entire thing. The lack of a story is a weak point again, but I’ll still happily watch every minute of this one (though I may grimace at a few extreme gross-out moments).

2. Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Before tonight, I hadn’t seen this for at least 4 or 5 years, and honestly I don’t remember being terribly impressed at the time (I was around 16, probably?). Rewatching it now, I can only assume that stupidity blinded me from seeing this movie’s genius.

One thing you have to respect Monty Python for is their only complete lack of respect for anything. As John Cleese said in Meaning of Life interviews “[We don't worry about offending people, we just do what's funny to us.]” I love that attitude.

They took Biblical events and completely trashed them, from the definition of miracles and the misinterpretations of prophets to the virgin Mary. And they never even blink. This time around there’s even a consistent story to push things along, which is a huge help to their comedy.

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

This was my first introduction to the troupe, so I’m not sure if I’m really comfortable saying I think it’s any funnier than Meaning of Life or Life of Brian, but it definitely has nostalgia going for it.

Aside from Now For Something Completely DIfferent, it’s easily the cleanest content-wise. A brief mention of oral sex is as trashy or offensive as things get here, but compared to the other topics they’ve touched, it’s nothing.

Again, the feature-length story is a huge plus to keeping your attention. You get familiar with the ridiculous characters as they interact with the even more ridiculous people they meet along their journey, all of whom give us some of the most memorable quotes in the comedy groups history (“Run awaaaaaay!”, “Nii”, “I’m not dead yet”, the list goes on and on). The ending might be one of the funniest endings I’ve ever seen, though I’m sure some people just think it’s stupid. I thought it was hilarious.

I know quite a few people that consider themselves Python fans even though this is the only movie they’ve seen. If you fit that description, do yourself a favor and check out the rest.

See you Monday night/Tuesday morning.